All over the place.

Hmm, so much to say; but the question is... where to start?

I'm a person who likes to entertain others and make them happy; even when I don't want to or I'm not happy.

I always wonder if people think they really know me. I'm a hard person to grasp; always in my shell never truly letting me as a whole come out. A wall built up so high that only selected few work to get over. One who doesn't talk much; but when doing so; most times it isn't about me or it's something that is not that important. So wrapped up in others lives, when I don't even ask to be in it.

But, who am I to turn someone down when they need someones to talk to, someone to listen to, or someone just to be there?

I'm not mean; I'm never mean, I'll even admit that I let people walk over me; but only so far I have my boundaries. Never truly telling people how I feel; always holding back or holding it within. Who would want to listen to my nonsense? I observe, let things take their course. One who goes with the flow of things, not one for planning things days upon days ahead. Just spur of the moment situations; ones that maybe shouldn't have happened; but never do I regret anything.

I've done what I've done, lived how I've lived, and I'm happy. No complaints. Of course thing's can always be better; but that's a constant in life; nothing will ever be perfect, that's fantasy. Life is to be grasped by the balls and make it perfect, make it what you want; make the decisions to lead up to what you want, need, hope for.

I bet people don't even realize they don't know that much about me; I'm always the listener and I don't mind it. I don't complain; I'm needed in that sense, wanted. And I'll take it and be happy.

Little things hurt me; but I suck it up take it and get over it. So many people are so rude to me and I just shut up and leave it; never been one for confrontation. But need be I will speak my mind and say what needs to be said.

But why waste your breath on someone you know doesn't care; doesn't care that they hurt your feelings. Even being on the verge of tears and they still don't see it. An apology so weak with emotion it doesn't even begin to soften the wound they left.

But why dwell on sadness, stupid people that are rude when all you are is nice to them? Forget them; sometimes it's best to make your mind think they don't exist. You're superior to them, they're inferior, they don't matter.

So I ignore the drama, rather not deal with it...


I am me; whoever that is...